Author (#1)March 2003 Archives

Classifying Geeks

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This link has been getting a lot of analysis around the office this week.

If you are a geek, this may help you find your place on the Geek Ziggurat. If you are not a geek, well, at least it has more amusement value than the Myers-Briggs stuff that was going around last month.

"Don't Read This Blog!"

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I think all webloggers are somewhat curious about what other people are doing in their blogs - witness the popularity of Blogger's Next button, which takes you to a randomly-selected blog. Mike likens it to wandering around the neighborhood staring into other people's windows. (Which, in turn, always conjures up images of the old Batman TV show for me.)

I'm as guilty of this kind of voyeurism as the next blogger. One of the things I can't figure out is why people put disclaimers like "If you know me from school/work/whatever please leave now. Some of the things I say may offend you." in their weblogs. Do they really think that will work?

That's just stupid. If anything, that would encourage me to read on just to see if I really did get offended.

If you're that concerned about people connecting the dots between you and your innermost thoughts, perhaps you should keep your weblog on "paper" and call it a "diary."

If you still want to get your message out to the masses, here's another radical idea - don't use your real name!

[This may only be funny or cute to some of you. Standard disclaimers apply.]

Last night I got an update on Claire and Cameron's plans for the future. From their mouths to my ears to your eyes, here you go:

- They are going to live together in a big house.

- Cameron will be a daddy and Claire will be a mommy.

- They will have babies in their tummies. Cameron will have two babies and Claire will have two babies, that's [picture them counting their fingers] four babies!

Then Katy, who clearly knew what was coming, asked Claire who she was going to marry. Claire's reply, and I quote:

"I'm going to marry Cameron. And I'm not changing my decision on that."

Try to imagine that sentence delivered by a very serious and earnest four-year-old. Then picture me practically swallowing my tongue trying not to burst out laughing.

I prefer to think of this development as Pharaonic rather than Appalachian.

It is 10:15 PM.

It feels like 3 AM.

I've been sitting at the computer analyzing baseball statistics and making draft picks for my fantasy baseball team since 7:45. My eyes are burning. My brain is melting. My butt hurts. I'm unhappy with myself for making at least two tactical mistakes - and those are the ones I figured out for myself.

Why do I do this? Because it's fun!

I am not Irish, nor am I Catholic. I have been known to wear orange on Saint Patrick's Day. I'm not against drinking beer per se, but it is a bit strange the way we tend to turn cultural holidays - Saint Pat's, Cinco de Mayo - into an opportunity to get loaded.

So what do I like about it? The food.

Katy usually makes corned beef for dinner. I may not be down with the Pope but I like my corned beef. And then there's the leftovers.

I love to make big breakfasts on the weekend. Leftover corned beef can be quickly turned into corned beef hash. Mmm, corned beef hash and poached eggs, side of toast, coffee, juice, and the Sunday comics.

Now that's something worth celebrating.

The Long Pause

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Another long pause in Things. Here's your weekend summary:

Saturday morning Katy and I went down to UCLA to participate in a study on marraige. We were a part of this study's predecessor starting back in 1994 and they asked us back. It basically amounted to filling out questionnaires, being interviewed, and *gasp* talking to Katy while they videotaped us. If you're curious, you can find out more about the original study here.

We got $200 for our troubles, and a nice parting gift - two pocketknives, one for each of us. I find it funny that they were giving married couples pocketknives, especially given that one of the questions was along the lines of "have you pulled a knife or gun on your spouse in the last six months." Well, now that I have one handy, maybe I'll consider it...

Saturday afternoon found me lecturing on the Lord of the Rings at Travis' place. Mike has a nice writeup of the event, including pictures.

In other news, "our" hummingbird eggs have hatched - no good pictures yet, they just look like little feathery blobs. When (if?) they actually look like little birds I'll post a picture.

There you go.

We had the kids' birthday party on Saturday. It was raining.

If you live in L.A. for very long you get used to planning outdoor events with no contingencies. It's just not going to rain that day.

So, Friday night found us hastily replanning the party activities. No "jumpy castle?" (De rigeur at birthday parties these days, it seems.) Substitute a craft. No outdoor treasure hunt? Rework it to span the family room, entry hall, and garage. In the end everything worked out great.

I ran out Saturday morning to pick up supplies for the craft. I had no idea you could buy so much felt and glue for ten bucks.

Okay, now to change subjects.

This year's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction was on TV this weekend. I Tivo'd it so that I could just skip through the fawning speeches and get to the performances.

The last band inducted this year was The Police. Great band. The three members all gave fairly quick acceptance/thank you speeches - one of them mentioned that they were in a hurry to perform as they hadn't played together in 18 years. (Has it really been that long? Good grief, I'm getting old.)

They got their instruments and started in on - what else - Roxanne. Sting got most of the camera time but I noticed something when they showed Stewart Copeland banging away behind the drums - he was In The Zone.

The look on Copeland's face was one of total concentration combined with Pure Joy. It's hard for me to describe - Sting and Andy Summers seemed to be performing with some calculated sense of what they were doing, but Copeland looked to have transcended the whole thing and Achieved Enlightenment. I'm not doing it justice here but I don't know how else to tell you what I saw without going totally mumbo-jumbo on you.

I was glad for Stewart. Everybody should get to be that happy now and then.

Four

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Claire and Cameron are four today.

Eight Years Worth of Kid in One Picture

Happy birthday, you two.

[UPDATE: You can see more pictures of the kids here.]

Breaking News

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I don't usually do a lot of news commentary here but I just heard that Elizabeth Smart has been found, alive and well.

My heart celebrates a little with the Smart family today. The world just became a little less evil.

There's a guy on the afternoon train that rides a Segway.

That's right, folks. Not only have I ridden a Segway and seen one crashed, I have had a Legitimate Real World Segway Sighting. Ha!

Mar 12 Update: Here's a picture of me riding one. Note that it is all in one piece.

I didn't wreck mine.

I just finished reading The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien.

I'm not sure if I should have done that. I get the feeling that Professor Tolkien would be highly offended to find that I had been reading correspondence not addressed to me. But what's done is done.

I did find out a few interesting things. One, the Lord of the Rings did not make Tolkien Fabulously Wealthy - at least not right away. Two, he was a slow worker when it came to his writing. He fiddled around with LotR for twenty years or so, and after its publication he fiddled around with The Silmarillion for thirty more, eventually leaving completion to his son Christopher after he died. (I'm sure he was busy with Other Things but really. Come on.) Three, he seemed to get crabbier with people after the series became successful. Here's an excerpt from a letter he sent to Time-Life in 1968, presumably in response to a request for a photo session:

Your ideas of the natural and mine are different, since I never in any circumstances do work while being photographed, or talked to, or accompanied by anybody in the room. A photograph of me pretending to be at work would be entirely bogus.

Nothing like a nice friendly letter, eh?

The other thing I learned is that his favorite part of the book is one of mine as well. So I've got that going for me.

That one's mine

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This morning I was making breakfast for Katy and me - eggs and bacon, mmm.

(I am aware that this isn't the best thing for us - but it sure is tasty.)

In the process of turning the over-easy eggs I broke one of the egg yolks. Curses! I expressed my displeasure and Katy, dear sweet thing that she is, volunteered to take it.

But I couldn't give it to her.

See, when I was in Boy Scouts (back in the late Jurassic) our troop had a rule about cooking: If you were making food for the group and you screwed something up - say, you dropped a hamburger into the fire - that one was yours. It definitely made you more careful, and I tend to think it cut down on the tomfoolery boys are likely to enter into when preparing food for each other.

This rule has stuck with me. When I mentioned it to Katy, she looked at me funny. Apparently the Girl Scouts do not have this rule.

Fun with Words

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I like palindromes. I lack the patience to construct them but I do appreciate the effort it takes to put one together. I stumbled across this unattributed palindrome on somebody's quotes page and LOL'ed.

I post it here for your amusement.

A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, heros, rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe, percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a tag, a banana bag again (or a camel), a crepe, pins, Spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal-- Panama!

I especially like the parenthetical remark. Back to work...

Wild Kingdom

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This week we discovered a hummingbird nest at our house:

If you are having trouble with scale here, the nest is little more than two inches across. I do apologize for the slight blurriness of this picture. I was in a hurry, and the mother bird was hassling me no end.

Why was she hassling me, you ask? Why, because the nest happens to have two eggs in it:

Hardly enough for an omelette, eh? More like tic-tacs than eggs.

Seriously, I think this is pretty cool. So do the kids. I'll keep you posted on the progress of our little tenants - apparently the eggs will likely hatch in a couple weeks.

In other news, the train business is going well thus far. The other night I ran into a couple guys from work on the train - they pointed out a few of the more interesting characters in our car that night, including Getting Married Girl, Sleep Apnea Man, and Guy Who Always Has His Tunes On And Tells People That He Knocked Some Girl Up.

Sure enough, within a couple minutes Getting Married Girl was talking (fairly loudly) about her impending nuptuals. Sadly, Sleep Apnea Man did not nod off - I wanted to hear just how loud he snores. I suppose I'll get my chance.

Fascinating...

Train

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As I have lived my entire post-college life in the Los Angeles area, I've spent a lot of time on the freeways getting to and from work.

Today I tried something different - I took the train.

I'd like to tell you that the impetus for this change was some sensitivity to the environment, our nation's dependence on foreign oil supplies, or some other Noble Cause, but it just isn't true. I'm doing it for me.

Number one, it's cheaper. This is hard to believe because the Metrolink fares are pretty steep - but thanks to work subsidies, a round trip costs me $4. I figure I use around 2 1/2 gallons of gas a day driving, so as long as gas is over $1.50 a gallon I'm saving money just on the gas - not to mention the wear and tear on my 11 year old car.

Number two, I get the transit time back. I am reclaiming at least an hour a day. Maybe now I can catch up on my backlog of magazines and books.

I think this train thing is going to catch on.

I was checking my usual baseball news websites today - while enjoying a post-lunch serving of Thin Mints - and came across this:

A Baseball Story

The Coolness Factor of this tale is off the charts. Off the charts, I say!

Answer: Two

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Question: How many servings does a box of Thin Mints contain?

(Each serving is individually wrapped!)

Home Repair

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Late this afternoon, we discovered that we had no hot water in the house. A little investigation showed that the pilot light on the water heater was out.

I followed the Manufacturer's Procedure For Lighting the Pilot and it didn't stay lit. The owner's manual basically tells you to call a serviceman if The Procedure Doesn't Work. Give me a break.

After about five minutes online research, I ran over to Home Depot and picked up a replacement thermocouple for five dollars. It took me all of ten minutes to install. I shudder to think what a plumber would have charged me for this service.

In other news, Katy seems to have fixed a leak in our roof. Apparently when I was putting up the DirecTV dish last fall I broke some tiles loose from the flashing around our chimney, and water was getting in that way. Katy found the problem, got some roofing sealant and took care of it.

Many of my friends have been amazed that she fixed it. It's not like you need a Y chromosome to climb out a window, folks.