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The New Modern Pentathlon

Today I was thinking about the Modern Pentathlon.

Modern Pentathlon is an Olympics event built around the apocryphal tale of a young military officer trying to get a message back to his headquarters. Participants shoot, fence, ride horses, swim, and run in a re-enactment of said officer's journey. The event was championed by Baron Pierre de Coubertin, father of the modern Olympics, and was first contested in 1912.

I think this is a cool event, but I also think it's about time for a new modern pentathlon. And so I pose this question to you - what five events should be included in a New Modern Pentathlon?

Comments

How about driving in rush hour traffic while talking on a cell phone and drinking a Starbuck's coffee?

Events I occasionally participate in include the "150 yard dash through the parking lot to catch the train" and the "Google search for obscure knowledge."

Eating un-shelled sunflower seeds is a lot of work... that oughta count for an event...

Surely soccer moms would have an event in such a contest.

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