Two quick stories
Story 1
A couple weeks ago I happened to be around for school pickup and so I volunteered to go get the kids. I was chatting with a couple of the moms I know when the kids came out. They were excited to see me as I very rarely pick them up - both were pretty animated as they ran over to see me.
At this one of the moms turned to the other and muttered, not quite under her breath and not without a small amount of disdain:
"Oh look, the rock star is here today"
What could I say? I just smiled and shrugged.
Story 2
Last weekend my daughter's Brownie troop participated in the local Browniolympics. I was helping with the obstacle course, which finished with a sack race segment. I overheard one of the "coach" dads giving his girls tips on how to get a good time on the course - his main point was that speed in the transitions would translate into a good time. I bet it will be the only time he ever says this to his daughter, though:
"Okay, girls, the trick is to hop into the sack as fast as you can."
I just about came unglued laughing at that. He saw me laughing and then realized what he said and started laughing too. Good stuff.
#1: That's called jealousy. You should be used to people being jealous of you by now... you've got a smart, pretty redhead for a wife, super-cute kids, and a british sportscar for a hobby. :)
#2: That's one of two categories of saying that really crack me up. The other is "Things you say, but hardly ever mean literally".
One time, Nela wanted to have some company over. Our house rule was that her room had to be clean and the bed had to be made. So, it received the 40-second "clean-up". Later that night, she was having trouble climbing into bed as the sheets were all wadded and twisted around under the comforter. I laughed and told her "You made your bed, now you have to lie in it".