The Heartland

I've spent the last five days in Princeton, Illinois helping clean out my grandmother's apartment. She moved into an assisted living facility and it was time to clean out her old place.

It's a little strange spending five days in a small farming community. Random things:

- There isn't a Starbucks in the entire county. No joke.

- There's a coffee place on the north end of town that doesn't open until 10 AM. (How do they stay in business?) But the drivethrough place downtown sells a great cup of brew. Plus they come out to your car when the guy in front of you is taking forever. And ask the people behind you to back up so you can get out of line and be on your way.

- There's a town not far from here named Marsellies. It's pronounced "mar-sales." There's another town in the area named Ohio. This brings to mind an Abbott and Costello-like "where do you live" routine, which I will mercifully leave as an exercise for the reader.

- My grandfather's tire store is now an art gallery. We went in and checked it out - the floors are still the same squeaky hardwood.

- The bartender/proprietor of one of the local watering holes remembered our grandfather's tire store, down to the squeaky floors and the "don't feed the bird" joke thingy he had on the counter. (8-ounce draft beers were a dollar. One. Dollar.)

- The local "nice steakhouse" is cook-your-own. That is, you go to the cooler and pick out your steak, and then you grill it yourself. (For $2 they will cook it for you. We splurged.)

- When the local salvager/house cleaner-outer guy left us in the lurch on Saturday morning, my mom called the local car dealer where grandma bought her car and had it serviced. They loaned us a pickup truck, no questions asked, no documentation, no nothing - just "here, take the keys." Then the manager sent one of his guys from the shop over to help me haul the bulky stuff down the stairs. Still trying to get my head around that one.

- Beautiful early-1900s era Victorian homes on 1/2 acre lots near the center of town go for around $200k. (The lots are quite deep as they originally held stables. You know - for the horses.)

- Many of the streets are still brick-paved.

- People talk about not wanting to go "all the way to the south end of town." Yeah, I can see how you might not want to drive A WHOLE MILE.

- My mom likes to eat breakfast at the truck stop. (You may insert your own joke here but be careful - it's my mother you're talking about here.)

- Apparently the only vegetable able to penetrate the borders of Bureau County is iceberg lettuce.

- Holy smokes those are some big tractors.