Spam

Spam. Everybody gets it. Today I got a new variation on the classic "help me get money out of (insert African nation here)" scam:

Subject: From Brunei

I am a 23 years old and a British citizen who was taken to Brunei by my father at the young age of 12. He deceived me that I was going there on vacation and later married me off to a wealthy Prince in Brunei who is 30 years older than me.

I was thus forced into marriage and when I objected I was beaten and raped by this Prince. I was locked up in a house for two years after which I submitted and decided to accept my faith, knowing that was the only way out.

After I got my freedom back I have been allowed by my husband to have access to his businesses. Over the years I am been able to acquire some money $16,000,000.00 (Sixteen million dollars), which I diverted into a private finance house in Darussalam without his knowledge.

Right now I have mapped out a plan of escape out of Brunei, first of all I want to move the fund out of the Brunei. This is where I need your assistance, I will move the fund out of Brunei on your name through a Cargo courier company to Europe to avoid been detected by my husband. After which you will help me secure the fund before I get out of Brunei.

If you know you are capable of handling such a huge amount of money respond to me and I will compensate you by giving you 10% of the total fund.

Note also that you must keep this transaction secret as my life is at stake if my husband or any of his relatives hear of this transaction they will stone me to death or hang me.

Respond to me immediately so we can proceed.

Now, I know you're not supposed to reply to spam, but I couldn't resist sending this:

Infidel woman!

You have outsmarted yourself this time. I am your husband!

To reward your insolence, my brothers and I will stone you to death and hang you today at sundown.

I crack myself up.