December 2005 Archives

It's that time of year again. Many of the vendors we did business with this year are sending us stuff. Sometimes it's food, sometimes it's a card, occasionally it's something useful.

The other day I got a box from a company that we did a quarter of a million dollars of business with. What delights do you suppose were contained within that box?

Nine cookies.

I guess a quarter of a million dollars doesn't go as far as it used to.

Had I mentioned we got a dog?

In November we had a family meeting in which I was outvoted 3-1 on the question of whether we should get a dog for Christmas. I was not excited about the prospect of a chewing, jumping, digging, peeing, barking beast in the house. Not in the least. Privately to Katy I predicted Total Chaos.

Boy was I wrong.

We found Tessa through a local rescue group that gets dogs from area shelters. She was on her way to being put to sleep. She is very sweet and affectionate, and has clearly had some training. She loves playing ball and chase with the kids.

I can't figure out what she was doing in a shelter. She's an awesome dog!

(She is laying at my feet as I type this. Good dog! Good doggie!)

I'm with Mister P on this one - some Christmas songs should be taken out of rotation permanently.

My candidate for banishment: Barbra Streisand's version of "Jingle Bells." Please make it go away. She sounds like she's on speed. Oy Vey!

I find myself with two favorite Christmas songs this year:

1. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
2. Christmas Canon - Trans-Siberian Orchestra

I'm not apologizing for Mariah Carey. Apparently The Cult of Steve agrees with me on this, it's currently the number one song in iTunes.

Today at lunch something new happened. I was out with three other people from the office, and we had a nice meal.

When the check came I put in some cash. The other three people put in credit cards, and proceeded to make the server run three credit card slips, each for 1/4 of the amount of the check plus tip. I was taken aback by this brazen presentation of multiple credit cards for one check.

I say that's a bit much to ask of the server. Am I wrong? Is this the New Way to handle group checks?

A month or so ago we went to an exhibit of costumes from the Star Wars movies at the Fashion Institute in downtown Los Angeles.

There was some pretty fun stuff from all six movies. A Tuskan Raider family, the Fetts, Darths both Vader and Maul, Jedi robes aplenty, six or seven lightsaber handles, one million Amidala dresses - and who knew Palpatine was so into shoulder pads?

The first gallery had costumes from the original film, including a fine Han Solo ensemble. My children and I could not get a good look at Han's threads, however, as there were two gentlemen standing right in front of it having a spirited discussion.

This discussion focused on the belt that the mannequin was wearing. To be more specific, one of the parties was quite vocal in his opinion that the belt had been put on the mannequin backwards. The belt. Backwards. Oh no.

Holy Crap. Nerds! NERDS!

I quickly ushered my kids into the next gallery lest some of the nerdliness settle on their clothing. I mean, really.

This year we had a big crowd at our house for Thanksgiving dinner. We decided that we would do two smaller turkeys instead of one 25+ pounder, which gave me an opportunity to try something new.

I have been wanting to deep fry a turkey. This seemed like a good time to try it because Katy was roasting one already. If things went completely south with the fryer Thanksgiving dinner would only be badly maimed, not completely killed.

Here is my list of the pros and cons of deep frying a turkey:

Pros -

• It cooks very quickly. (30 minutes for a 12-pound turkey)


• The turkey was moist and delicious (although not noticeably moister than our brined and roasted bird)


• The skin was crispy and delicious for the carver (me) to snack on while carving.


• The "showbiz quotient" of cooking a turkey in a huge vat of hot oil is tremendous. Everybody was in the back yard watching me - probably to see if I suffered any disfiguring burns, but watching nonetheless. (If I had anticipated this I would have worked up some patter.)


• No turkey taking up the oven all day - you can cook other things.


• No roasting pan to clean up.


• No discovering a cooler full of turkey brining fluids in the garage ten days later. (Wow. Was that gross.)

Cons -

• Five gallons of peanut oil set me back about $30


• Heating five gallons of oil over an open-flame burner requires a certain amount of caution. (see here for a short video illustrating some of the things that could go wrong) Fire extinguishers, pet- and child-free zones, etc. are a requirement as far as I'm concerned.


• Oil will splatter onto whatever your burner is resting on. I'd recommend putting down a tarp.


• As you will be doing this outside, weather could be a factor. (Not so much in southern California, but your mileage may vary.)


• Your typical turkey-fryer kit will not hold a bird much bigger than 12-14 pounds. (More a limitation than a con per se. You could do a couple if you needed more meat.)


• No stuffing.


• No gravy.


• Your mom will be stressed out to see you messing around with all that hot oil.


• Where do you put five gallons of low-mileage slightly used peanut oil? (Hint: Not down the drain.)


• Whatever you decide to do with the oil, you have to let it cool down overnight. And if you decide to filter it for reuse, it takes about an hour to get that much oil filtered.

All in all, I'd do it again, given the right circumstances. Mmm, turkey.