November 2005 Archives

Claire's soccer season wrapped up last Saturday. She has been a little down about it this year - her team has not enjoyed the kind of success that she was used to from last season. The Lavender Diamonds had a staunch defense, but they weren't quite as successful on the other side of the ball.

Claire wanted very badly to score a goal this season.

She had lots of chances this time around. She was on the front line for much of the game, and she had four or five shots on goal. As the second half ticked away none of these had found their way into the net.

And then one last chance appeared. In front of the Pink and Purple Shooting Star's goal, the Lavender Diamonds found themselves with the ball. Ruby, our team's best passer, was in possession in the penalty area. Claire was standing alone off the far post. Katy, who was the on-field coach this week, showed her extreme impartiality by yelling "PASS IT TO CLAIRE!" at the top of her lungs.

(Time began to dilate at this point.)

Ruby passed the ball towards Claire...

The ball rolled around, through, and by several Pink And Purple Shooting Stars with only incidental contact...

Claire found the ball at her feet in front of the goal...

And
She
Booted
It

INTO THE NET!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I assure you that the crowd started shouting some interjections, and Claire was walking on air for the rest of the weekend.

I am so happy for Claire. She wanted it so badly, and she came so close so many times - and although there were times that she was really discouraged she kept on plugging. Go Claire! Girl Power!

A couple weekends ago, Cameron wanted to set up a lemonade stand in front of our house. Katy, ever the indulgent mom, helped him get a sign made up and the lemonade mixed.

It wasn't until I helped him get his table moved out front that I realized this was not a simple capitalist for-profit project:

It had been his plan all along to use the proceeds from his stand to purchase food for a drive they were having at school. He sold $6 worth of product before supplies ran out.

Later that afternoon I took him to the grocery store and helped him pick out $10 worth of food - the proceeds from the lemonade stand plus $4 of his spending money. (One dollar of his weekly allowance is his to spend as he sees fit.) I know I suffer from a little bias here, but hey - what a kid!

Have you ever replaced an interior door?

What a pain.

Here are the steps involved:

1. Measure the existing door. (It will be a nonstandard size.)
2. Go the hardware store and buy a new door. Let's call this Door Number One, or "The $30 Experiment."
3. Buy a couple sawhorse/workbench thingys so you have a work surface.
4. Buy a neat-o door handle hole cutting template thingamajig.
5. Come home and ponder how to trim fractional inches off the edge of the door while assembling new sawhorse/workbench thingys.
6. Get out the circular saw and try to make a straight cut across the door. Fail.
7. Confer with your father-in-law on tactics to guide the saw across the door.
8. Search the garage for a piece of lumber that is long enough and straight enough to use as a guide. Success!
9. Find lumber, use it as a guide, attempt to cut the door. Fail.
10. Go to the hardware store to buy new circular saw blade and some chisels.
11. Return home, use new blade to cut door. Success!
12. Using guide, trim the other dimension of the door. Success!
13. Using the old door as a template, mark the hinge and doorknob placements.
14. Using the neat-o door handle marker-ma-jig, cut holes for the doorknob. Success!
15. Using the new chisels, try to trim out the space on the side of the door for the bottom hinge (this is called "mortising"). Fail.
16. Find some wood putty and reconstruct the whole business so that the hinge will fit properly.
17. Mortise the top hinge. Success!
18. Bring the door inside and hang it.
19. Realize that the door is too narrow.
20. Realize that you measured to the wrong side of the saw blade.
21. Realize that you're going to be doing this all over next weekend.
22. Realize that right now would be a good time to do some deep breathing exercises and have a few beers.
23. Wait six days.
24. Go to the hardware store and buy Door Number Two.
25. Trim the door to the proper width and height.
26. Using the old door as a template, mark the hinge and doorknob placements.
27. Using the neat-o door handle marker-ma-jig, cut holes for the doorknob.
28. Talk to neighbor, find out that they have a router you can borrow to mortise the hinges.
29. Go to one hardware store looking for a router bit and hinge mortising template. Fail.
30. Go to another hardware store looking for a router bit and hinge mortising template. Fail.
31. Go to another hardware store looking for a router bit and hinge mortising template. Success!
32. Come home and realize that the bit has a 1/2" shank and the router has a 1/4" shaft opening.
33. Return to the hardware store to exchange the router bit.
34. Come home, practice with the template and the router on Door Number One, now "the practice door."
35. Wonder if you are supposed to be throwing sparks off the router bit shaft whilst routing. Hmm.
36. Do a small amount of router research on the Internet, ignoring the plentiful links referencing Cisco.
37. Discover that you need a router guide bushing.
38. Go to a hardware store looking for them. Fail.
39. Go to another hardware store looking for them. Fail.
40. Go to another hardware store looking for them. Fail.
41. Quit looking.
42. Realize that you're going to be working on this next weekend.
43. Realize that right now would be a good time to do some deep breathing exercises and have a few beers.
44. Wait six days.
45. Go to another hardware store looking for router guide bushings. Success!
46. In your excitement to route out the hinge mortises on door number two, neglect to check that you are routing them out on the right side.
47. Use the router to mortise the hinges pointing the wrong way.
48. Become extremely exasperated.
49. Go to the hardware store and buy Door Number Three.
50. Trim the door to the proper width and height.
51. Cut the door handle hole.
52. Mortise the hinges.
53. Mortise the latch plate.
54. Install the hinges and the door hardware, filling gaps with wood putty as required.
55. Test hang the door. Success! (Now that you know what you're doing, steps 49-54 will take about two hours.)
56. Remove the door and place it in the garage for painting.
57. Realize that you're going to be working on this next weekend.
58. Realize that right now would be a good time to have a few beers (deep breathing exercises optional).
59. Wait six days.
60. Remove the door handle and apply a coat of paint to the front and sides of the door.
61. Wait.
62. Apply a second coat of paint to the front and sides of the door.
63. Wait.
64. Turn the door over and apply a coat of paint to the back of the door.
65. Wait.
66. Apply a second coat of paint to the back of the door.
67. Wait.
68. Reinstall the door handle.
69. Rehang the door.
70. Done!
71. More beers!

Today I saw that Home Depot's profits for the quarter were up 17%. Coincidence? I think not.

It's 11:11 on 11/11.

I love stuff like that!

It seems popular amongst my blogging friends to post pictures of broken and badly bruised toes.

Well, it's my turn.

At some point in my marathon training - I think it was the 18 mile run - I bruised my toe. Now it's better, but the nail is completely purple. I am waiting for it to fall off. I think it will hurt. I am being extra super careful with it - pulling on my socks carefully, not walking around barefoot - because I don't want to tear it off prematurely. I'm cringing just thinking about it.

By the way, the doctor says I correctly diagnosed my knee problems. I'm on a heavy course of anti-inflammatories for a while, and I'm supposed to stretch a lot. Let's hope that helps.

A few weeks back the PTA held a carnival at the kids' school as a fundraiser.

One of the events was a chili cookoff.

I heard through Katy that they were having trouble recruiting chili-makers for the event and so, in a moment of weakness, I volunteered to enter. In retrospect, I really don't know what came over me. Definitely not typical behavior on my part.

Anyway, I decided that I needed a hook. Since I don't have any super secret awesome chili recipes or techniques, I decided to go with a white bean chicken chili that I've made a couple times.

Let me tell you, I wowed the judges. Before the tasting had even begun, several of them were bold enough to predict that "you will not be leaving without an award." Sure enough, when the dust settled, I was holding the lovely wooden spoon you see pictured above.

See, there were two awards to give out - and only two entrants. My chili was not painfully spicy or anything but it was spicier than my competitor's, and so I won the "Spiciest Chili" award. Rock on!

I will be adding "Award Winning Chef" to my business cards.

If the company email is down, how do you let people know email is down?